


Telephone

by Postsynthcomrade5



Category: Lady gaga - Fandom, The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prison, Based on a Lady Gaga Song, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Murder, Phone Calls & Telephones, Poisoning, Prison, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 22:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16027352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postsynthcomrade5/pseuds/Postsynthcomrade5
Summary: The setting of the Lady Gaga song Telephone but with the settings and characters changed





	Telephone

The year was 1984

 

Vyvyan had just completed his course of “community service” when he got a phone call

 

He put the weights he was holding down and went over to pick up the phone

 

A whiny posh sounding voice could be heard from the other line

 

“You fascist you haven’t been calling me for weeks, I’ve been worried I’m coming over there”

 

Vyvyan groaned he had been so busy with community work and “rehabilitation” that he didn’t answer Rick’s calls often.

 

He sat in the prison playground when someone blasted I thought the law  by The Clash which made him mosh with fellow prisoners

 

Soon the songs kept changing from The Clash to Dead Kennedys to Buzzcocks

 

Vyvyan was loving this he started dancing about the jail cell hallways with his cellmates

 

He took photos of him and his cellmates and then got the message from the speakers

 

*could Vyvyan please arrive downstairs you have a visitor”

 

Vyvyan shrugged, packed his belongings and carried them with him as he went downstairs

 

Standing at the reception exit was Rick in a light brown coat with shades on and his communist beret

 

Vyvyan signed his papers and off they went towards his car, getting inside

 

Rick sat opposite him, folding his hands unhappy “You’ve been a complete bastard, an utter, utter, utter Bastard Vyvyan!”  

 

As he took out a packet of kebabs and bit aggressively into one while he handed the bag to him 

Vyvyan devoured most of the packet.

 

“You know Vyvyan politics is like a mirror, You can still fix it if the system is smashed”

 

Vyvyan stared snarling at him “But the clock will keep ticking when it’s time for nuclear annihilation

 

They turned on the radio and a protect and survive PIF was on, it switched over to Poison by Alice Cooper

 

They smirked at each other as they got an idea

 

Rick said cheerfully,

 

“You what they say to kill the pigs you must eat the Rich”

 

Speeding off the highway until they arrived at  a local pub

 

They walked in Rick sat at one of the benches while Vyvyan wandered over to the Kitchen

 

He saw some fascist blokes walk over as they started to attack the people Rick was sitting next to   

 

Rick stood up and tried to fight them usually he’s not confrontational but fascists are fascists and like the state, they needed to be smashed to pieces

 

Grabbing a fork Rick tried to stab one of the fascists in the arm, while he bit the other before tackling them and punching them as he snorted gleefully sitting with an innocent look on his face while he drank his tea

 

Meanwhile, Vyvyan was in the kitchen preparing a poisonous feast he studied medicine for a reason so he knew what chemicals to throw in that would make the customers hurl and wheeze

He got some rat poison and other substances sprinkling them into the food via salt packets

 

Vyvyan walked in carrying the tray as he set the dishes on the tables

 

The fascists bit into dishes before they collapsed while the fascists who didn’t die were scalded by Rick spilling tea over them.

 

Rick put a cd into the radio only for Let’s Dance by David Bowie to be blasted

 

Rick, Vyvyan and the other pub customers danced along

 

Until the party was over, cops were on their way so off they dashed into Vyv’s car and drove off into the sunset.


End file.
